Dating fears rejection
We withdraw from people rather than risk reaching out.We hold back from expressing our authentic feelings. If our worst fear materializes—if our catastrophic fantasy becomes a reality and we’re rejected—our organism has a way of healing if we can trust our natural healing process. Life has a way of humbling us and reminding us that we’re part of the human condition.Being a decent person requires finding equanimity, even joy, in the other's unilateral decision and moving on... I don't learn as well from failure as from success.Rejection means my life experience counts for less.A big part of our fear of rejection may be our fear of experiencing hurt and pain.Our aversion to unpleasant experiences prompts behaviors that don’t serve us.
For example, if a relationship fails, this doesn’t mean that we are a failure.This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC. Rejection happens to all of us, even the most successful of people.Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin. Being rejected is something we encounter when we try.We abandon others before they have a chance to reject us. If we can notice our self-criticisms and tendency to sink into the shame of being a failure and accept our pain just as it is, we move toward healing.
Our suffering is intensified when not only do we feel hurt or grief, but we think something’s wrong with us for feeling this.
It takes courage and creativity to bring a gentle awareness to what we may like to push away.